Patreon posts

Killed by a T-bone steak

A story to inspire the underdog, the old Wickhams department store on Mile End Road was a masterpiece of thwarted desire. Called the ‘Harrods of the East’, its architectural model was actually Selfridges, although Spiegelhalter’s little [...]

A flatulent camel

“Mr Lippiat, he’s a real gent, wait until you get Ormes”, my inquisitor warned me. What had I taken on? If that was easy how traumatic is this going to get, and looking at my card [...]

Water everywhere and not a drop to drink

Containing an original 1899 Thomas Crapper `valveless water preventor', here red and black marble urinals adorn the opposite wall, after cleaning your soul above, here one may have a more secular dousing [...]

City Slickers

Exclusively for Patrons, here is the start of the next chapter from my travelogue Pootling around London: Manor House to Gibson Square, again I hope you find it both amusing and informative [...]

Only Fools and Horses do The Knowledge

Opposite the destination are offices of the left-leaning Southwark Council, but when you’re in the heart of the BBC comedy classic Only Fools and Horses, what should those council offices be named? Why Winnie Mandela House [...]

A Mug at Christmas

I've survived ordeal by carbon monoxide and reaching Culling Circus is a relief, this curiously named roundabout must have got its title from the tunnel's ability to kill motorists who dwell too long in its cavernous [...]

I thought this was a urinal

With typical corporate stupidity, they tried to use their financial might to have the cabbie's shelter removed by the authorities, but they were told that the shelter had been there since 1880 and was staying put [...]

Either make it up or you put in an elephant

When Mick Jagger has shuffled off his mortal coil, a blue plaque could be affixed to number 48 commemorating a drugs bust, led by the head of the Chelsea Drug Squad, the curiously named Detective Sergeant [...]

Going South of the River for a shilling

They would ply for hire from designated locations along the Thames, with the cry of “Oars! Oars!” which later was forbidden as the cry could be confused by tourists with “Whores! Whores!” [...]

A watery grave

In what must be the most ostentatious property hereabouts, clad in what can only be described as large white Lego bricks, the Marine River Force headquarters, its museum displays everything a copper needs [...]