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Up North

A favourite game played at night by cabbies is ‘riding the green wave’. This entails travelling from King’s Cross Station to the Marylebone flyover, or vice versa, catching every light at green, and therefore not stopping [...]

Hitchcock’s head

Only an organisation the size of BT would commission a telephone exchange this ugly, then to reinforce our perception of their poor taste erect a 22ft high aluminium pole with seven sculpted heads [...]

A pod of whales

The only point of interest is Stockwell bus garage described by Will Self as “a pod of whales, a concrete Leviathan, frozen in mid arch as they swim through the rather choppy brick sea of south [...]

Hitting ‘The Wall’

Statically you are more likely to give up, than gain that winners medal of a green badge, those who do persist on their journey often refer to losing their grip on reality as the Knowledge becomes [...]

You’d lose your head if it wasn’t sewed on

Just another chapter in England’s bloody history, but according to popular, if dubious legend, it was realised that no official portrait existed of the deceased Duke. His body was exhumed, the head reaffixed to the body [...]

Killed by a T-bone steak

A story to inspire the underdog, the old Wickhams department store on Mile End Road was a masterpiece of thwarted desire. Called the ‘Harrods of the East’, its architectural model was actually Selfridges, although Spiegelhalter’s little [...]

A flatulent camel

“Mr Lippiat, he’s a real gent, wait until you get Ormes”, my inquisitor warned me. What had I taken on? If that was easy how traumatic is this going to get, and looking at my card [...]

Water everywhere and not a drop to drink

Containing an original 1899 Thomas Crapper `valveless water preventor', here red and black marble urinals adorn the opposite wall, after cleaning your soul above, here one may have a more secular dousing [...]

City Slickers

Exclusively for Patrons, here is the start of the next chapter from my travelogue Pootling around London: Manor House to Gibson Square, again I hope you find it both amusing and informative [...]

Only Fools and Horses do The Knowledge

Opposite the destination are offices of the left-leaning Southwark Council, but when you’re in the heart of the BBC comedy classic Only Fools and Horses, what should those council offices be named? Why Winnie Mandela House [...]