Puppydog tails — 04 September 2009

Dog coat A recent piece of legislation from Brussels, and I would ask you at this point to treat the information with all the gravitas it deserves, concerns that ghastly piece of apparel, the Day-Glo Vest.

In France, Spain and Germany it is now mandatory to carry a high visibility vest in your car’s glove compartment.

The French in their customary fashion have roped in style icon Karl Lagerfeld to help promote the new legislation and to ensure its wearers remain sartorially elegant.

It will only be a matter of time before England follows submissively down the same path with the €135 fine for infringement as an incentive.

So how long will it be before Transport for London (not known these days for joined up thinking) insists that all London cabbies have to wear that ubiquitous fluorescent vest when plying for hire, with ‘LICENSED LONDON BLACK TAXI PROPRIETOR’ emblazoned across the back, and London fashion guru Jeff Banks brought in to ensure its functionally.

Other items demanded by Europe for cabbies to carry could include a little hamper in case we break down, we then can offer our fare a selection of croissants, brie cheese and a half bottle of Bordeaux while they wait. An umbrella would be useful to keep the sun from their fair heads, to reduce the risk of skin cancer while we wait for help to arrive.

Surely it’s only a matter of time until I have to wear a fluorescent vest to take my dog for a walk in the park, while my little dog sports a canine version of the garment.

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